


YOLO

by TheGoodDoctor



Series: Group Targets [21]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 19:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8340004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodDoctor/pseuds/TheGoodDoctor
Summary: On unique flatmates and the problems they create; or, shouldn't death have slowed them down?





	

Bill unlocks the door with a clattering of keys and stomps numb feet on the doormat. “Brr,” he says, dropping the keys onto the cabinet and shutting the door behind him. “I'm home,” he calls as he unwinds his scarf, hanging it and then his coat on a peg.

Gareth pops his head through the kitchen door. “Good day?”

Bill hops on one leg, tugging on his shoe, then stops and leans on the wall. “What have I told you about opening doors?” he says tiredly.

Gareth rolls his eyes. His head stays in the same place and the wooden door opens through it like air. “This is supernatural-ist,” he says grumpily.

“It's creepy, is what it is.” Bill yanks his other shoe off and places them next to Eve’s heels. “Q in?”

“In here,” he calls from the living room.

Bill wanders in, leaving his bag by the door. Q is lying flat out on the couch, James mimicking his pose but on the ceiling. They're occupying themselves by throwing scrunched-up paper between them while Q taps ferociously on his laptop. “Work, or has someone insulted Inception again?”

James laughs and Q sighs. “Work, actually.”

“Makes a nice change, doesn't it?” Eve says, handing him a mug of tea. Bill smiles at her in thanks.

“Switching it up,” Q says sourly. “What did you want?”

“To know if you knew anything about your ghost scaring the kids down the road. The mums have been chatting about it.”

Q rolls his eyes. “Should have known.”

James looks up. “Wait,  _ your _ ghost?”

Q nods. “You're my ghost, Gareth is Bill’s ghost, and the vampire came with the house.”

Eve laughs and Gareth rubs the back of his neck. “I had no idea you had a system sorted out,” he says mildly.

“Anyway,” Eve says, “what's this about you terrorising children?”

James folds his arms sulkily. “They're hardly children,” he complains. “Teenagers. And they were making life harder for Mrs Hardy down the road; hiding her mail, knocking over her bins and stuff. I just wanted them to stop.”

“So you leapt out of a bush looking like Slenderman,” Bill says, flicking idly through the paper.

James shrugs. “They stopped.”

“You're a veritable moral crusader,” Gareth sighs.

“A bit overkill, don't you think?” Eve says.

James throws a wad of paper at Q. “Defend me,” he whines.

The paper bounces off Q’s frown. 

James gives it up as a bad job and floats to the floor. “I'm really sorry, I won't do it again, okay?” he says unhappily and semi-insincerely.

Bill sighs and waves a hand. “Fine. But you're grounded for a week, young man,” he says with just the slightest of smiles.

James grins. “I'm like, two hundred years old.”

“And grounded,” Bill calls over his shoulder as he wanders into the kitchen.

“You're one hundred and sixty-one, actually,” Gareth says.

James raises his eyebrows. “Really? Seems much longer.”

Q tilts his head. “How old are you, Gareth?”

“One hundred and seventy-four.” He sits on the sofa and picks up a book from the table.

“Eve?” Q asks.

“One should never ask a lady her age,” she says lightly. “Ooh, I must be… nine hundred and fifty this year, actually. More or less.”

“Damn,” James says. “Think you could get a pensioner’s bus pass?”

Eve snorts. “I bloody hope not!” She pushes her hair back with exaggerated care. “I've spent centuries on looking this young.”

James frowns. “The kids tried to nick her bus pass, too.”

“Mrs Hardy? Why?” Gareth says.

Q pulls a face. “They think she's a witch.”

“She is.” They turn to look at Bill, who is balancing a tray of food for him and Q in one hand, the other wrapped around his mug of tea. Gareth winces as he realises he's forgotten to hold his book and tries to get it back out from inside his legs.

“Really?” Eve says.

Bill nods. “Thought you knew.”

“How do you know?” Q says.

He huffs a laugh. “No-one has that much mugwort in their garden who isn't a witch, believe me. So I went in and asked.” He smiles at their stunned expressions. “We have tea sometimes and talk about what pests you all are.”

“Oi!” Eve and James say together. Gareth appears to consider it, then shrugs, accepting the validity of the pursuit.

Q laughs in triumph. “Why aren't I invited to these supernatural bitching sessions?”

“But Q,” Bill says seriously, “if you come, how can we bitch about you?”

Now it's Q’s turn to object and the undead’s turn to laugh. “Humph,” Q says, standing. “I know when I'm not wanted.”

“Well, don't be unwanted for too long or your dinner will get cold,” Gareth says, nose in his book. “I seem to remember not liking that.”

Q wanders off and thunders up the stairs. James stares longingly after him. Eve scoffs. “Tell him already,” she says, slumping into the sofa cushions.

James shakes his head. “And bring a whole new meaning to cradle-snatching? I'm alright.”

“No, you aren't,” Gareth says mildly. “You're moping. This is like Freddie Mercury all over again.”

“Besides,” Eve says, “unless you fall in love with Gareth, there's always going to be an age difference.” James and Gareth pull disgusted faces at each other. “See? So suck it up. Haha.”

Bill snorts and James and Gareth glare at her. “He probably doesn't even know I'm pan,” James whines.

Bill looks at him incredulously. “Seriously? The amount you go on about how  _ close _ you were with Oscar Wilde and yet can't name any of his works - he knows you're into guys.”

“But he'll die and I won't!” James finally blurts out.

“Yes, he'd never turn into a ghost. That never happens,” Gareth says dryly, putting his book down through his own leg. James glares at him.

Eve throws up her hands. “So be undead and alone for the rest of your non-life. See if I care.”

“You should go for it,” Bill says around a mouthful of rice. “It'll make you both happier while it lasts.”

“And if it doesn't?” James says desperately.

Bill shrugs. “You know. YOLO.”

Q enters, staring at them all. “Bill, if there is one thing we have learnt, it is that you do  _ not _ only live once.”


End file.
